Been a long time.

Hey Mom, 

I know it's been a long time since I have written you. A lot has happened since then. First of all you have 3 beautiful new grand children, all boys. Saniqua has 2 sons Thurston who is 2 and Tramyuis a little over a month. Greg and Charisse had their first child a son his name is Jacob Palmer Wright. I know George would be happy to hear that. 

I have had my ups and downs over the years since my last note to you. I was part of the working homeless for a couple of years. Ronald and Greg were furious when they found out how I was living. I made a decision that it was more important that Sherry and the Kids a place to stay. We were both down but by the Grace of God we made it to the light.

I recently had another setback. I know you would have laughed at this, we are both cut from the same cloth. I was walking to work and  I tripped over the crack in the sidewalk, into a parked car. I broke my left arm and right wrist. I even had to laugh at it myself.  I feel up a hill up and it wasn't even snowing or slippery outside. I was really feeling depressed and asking why me.  Sherry said "why not you". I understood what she meant. If it wasn't for the jokes from my friends and family I think it would be in a deep dark hole right now. 

I work with this wonder group of people who have become my Brothers, sisters and daughters. There is Steve, Bria, Troy and wife Yolanda, Jarmal, Jay,  Kelly ,Eddie (Eddie Lee just like Auntie Eddie Lee), Lisa, Dana and Shannie. They call to check up on me to see how I am feeling. i really miss seeing them everyday. The biggest thing they do for me is Pray and that means a lot to me.

Well that's it for now. I will write to you more often.

Love always and forever

Jerry Jr.

 

Good Morning Mom !!!

Well Ma, Happy Belated Mothers Day!!!
 I am going through a rough stretch right now. I walk around with this happy face and hold most of my feelings inside. I try to be Mr. Positive when I am talking to others and their problems, but I don't talk about whats really bothering me because I have trust issues and I fell like I am all alone here Baltimore. I feel so bad most days but I always keep a smile on my face , I don't feel that I am depressed just not as happy as I appear to be. I have prayed for strength to get through my problems but it seems as though I am dying inside slowly. I really don't have anything to feel sad about. I have a nice job, healthy family and my personal health is fine. I just feeling like crying a lot of the time. My emotions are so up and down it's crazy. It may be that I am still mourning the loss of you and George, or that I miss Greg and Ronald badly, Saniqua is lost and I can't help her and last but not least my living situation really really sucks. It feels as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders and now I can really feel it. Well Ma I better get going just had to get that off my chest.

It's been awhile!!!

Hey Ma,
   I know it's been awhile since my last post. I apologize for that but you know that you and the old man are always in my thoughts. Things have been kinda hectic lately. First of all the kids are doing well most of the time.
 Greg is still in Detroit working hard and staying out of trouble.He has become such a responsible young man and a great father. Greg has such a good head for business that if he dedicated himself to that I believe the sky is the limit for him.
 Deandre was just sworn in to the Navy and will be leaving in November. I just know that Andre will be an officer one day he has the passion, drive and intelligence to make it happen. He has a 20 yr plan already. Stay in the Navy 20 years get his degree, retire and get a job when he gets out. the boy is on it.
 Dalvonte got into some minor trouble regarding some back child support, but he is getting himself together. He has so much potential and he doesn't see it. This young man is really smart, He  said once that he wanted to go into coaching I wish we would I think he would do really well.
Saniqua is head over heels with this lil dude and it is not going well. If she could just step away from him and focus on herself she could really make quite a future for herself. She is very intelligent and if she applied herself she would be an amazing student.
Your son Ronald seems to be doing well but we don't talk as often as you would like us to.If seems as though we are really distant and I don't like it.It is just the two of us and we make speak once or twice a month and I don't like that. He had a minor health scare a couple of months ago and seems to be doing better.
Sharron (that is her real name, tell you about it later) and I are really good friends. It seems that we talk more now as friends than we did as husband and wife. She is always willing to listen to me, but I try not to burden her with my problems she has enough on her plate already. She is really active in her church and she seems really happy.She has always had good heart and being involved in church allows others to benefit from her kindness and good deeds. I wish nothing but the best for her, she deserves every good thing that comes her way.
Shanise is really growing up, but that mouth of hers needs to be dealt with at times. Sharron really has her hand full with that one. She is really interested in dancing and performing we may have a future start on our hands.
 You and Sharron have one thing in common when you two put on your church clothes both your heads swell and you become these super Divas. Sharron walks around saying how good she looks and she knows it, you walked around saying that you were sharp and no one could tell you anything different.
   I am doing okay trying to find a place in Baltimore to live, I stay with a friend during the week and go to Waynesboro, pa on the weekends with Sharron and the kids. . At times I look at my life and I am not sure what direction it is going. They are some many things I would like to do, but I never start them because I feel I must make sure the kids are taken care of first. I shouldn't call them kids because they are all young adults. I really don't have anyone I can talk to about things anymore because you were my faithful confidant. Ronald and Greg have there own lives and they have to  don't listen half the time. Sometimes I feel both of those dudes are so opinionated that my concerns come second to their opinions. I have lost touch with my boys back home. I get the feeling that when I talk to some of the people here I work with my thoughts and concerns just become a workplace joke. I have turned into a person that I really am starting too dislike. I am becoming that gossip dude you is always talking about people and being Mr. Sensitive it hurts when I know people have things to say about me . I think I need to withdraw myself from people and focus on becoming  better person. I now you want to tell me that I need to get back into church and you are absolutely correct as always. I just feel so lonely here in Baltimore, i am not talking about women I mean just friends in general. I have co-workers but at times I feel some of them just tolerate me and really don't like me. I feel like such an outsider here I really don't fit in. Look I am not depressed or anything just getting to a stage in my life that I feel that I need to be doing something meaningful. I have a nice job but I want more , I really , really ,really want a college degree before the Lord calls me home.I just need help getting started, I need a kick start. I just have a hard time putting my needs over the needs of everyone else. I know sometime you have to get selfish and just think about yourself ,I just don't know how to do that.
  I really miss pops a lot, he would really be enjoying his Tigers right now, they have a heck of a team. Even though he and I had our differences he was my daddy because he raised me like I was his own. the U of M vs OSU week is not the same without him here. I really miss him for just being there whenever we needed him. I can still taste the whiting and ocean perch that he used to fry. Deandre and I were just talking about his infamous salt chops you know what I mean.
Well mom guess I have talked enough. I promise I will not go this long without talking to you again. I want to wish you a Happy Mothers Day and I write to you again on Sunday.

Love You !!!!!!

Jerry Barnes Jr.

Hey Ma, I know it's been awhile since I my last note, Things have not been going so well Saniqua is really acting up. Her behavior and mood swings are really troubling. There are times when she is the sweetest thing around and then there are times when it take every fiber of my being not to choke the hell out of her. I am at my wits end, I really don't know what to do now but put it in God's hands. Dalvonte has had his troubles as well, He checked himself  into alcohol and drug rehab, he almost o'd on some laced weed and pills. Everything is fine now though.

I have been in contact with George , Ronald and Greg they all seem to be doing well. Greg is working 3 jobs  and living with Charisse and they seem to be doing well. Sherry is still working hard to make sure the kids are fine( She should do more for herself). As far as I go, Ma I am doing okay. Well I will talk to you later.

Love
Jerry Jr.

Hey MoM!!!

Hey Ma, I know it has been awhile since my last note. I must say that everything is going well. Deandre is doing well in college and Vonte and Saniqua are doing fine in Hagerstown. Sherry is doing well and so is her family. Greg has started a new job with DTE, he told me little Greg is doing fine as well. He is still with your girl Charisse and I am glad of that (I really like her alot) . Ronald is doing what he always does and that is work alot. I am sad to say that I do not talk to George alot (I will explain that to you at a later date). My life is going fine I am still working at Hopkins and I still like my job most days. I am going to try and make it home sometime this spring , trying to avoid the Michigan snow. I think about you all the time, I really miss you alot. I miss our talks about nothing , you know the ones where whatever comes up we talk about it. (LOL) oh I am sorry you don't speak text..lol means Laugh out loud... I miss hearing your voice even though we were a couple hundred miles apart. I still can hear your laugh as if we were discussing our crazy family members. I know this is going to hurt but your Pistons are really really bad, I mean they suck... I promise that I will write you at least once a week.  Well I gotta go... I love you and I miss you dearly. but you will always have a spot in my heart and my thoughts.

Love
Jerry Jr.

Loss of mother poem

This is a poem I found online, it helps me when I get sad and down because I miss you so much!!

My aching Heart

Loss of Mother Poem
Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something --
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.

~ Author unknown

Hey Mom

Pops had been in the hospital for about a week now, Greg said he is doing okay. He is having a hard time fighting a bladder infection. I called him tonight and he was at home . We couldn't talk long because he was a little tired. I will be going home in Feb. to check on him and the rest of the fellas. I need to go  home to gather some more  your things that I think you grandkids should have. I really want to go home because I really miss Detroit, Baltimore is fine. but like Dorothy said there is no place like home. I miss going to Coney Island on Hamiliton, my favorite restaurants Fishbones and Pizza Papalis. They are into club music here and I miss my Detroit techno, I miss the quiet strom on 92.3, I miss Wjlb, Carmen Harlans smile...gosh they are alot of things I miss about Detroit. Last but not least I miss being at your house because you spirit is so strong there and I really miss you. I better stop writting now, I am getting a little emotional and I have to protect my image, the big, bad angry black man from Detroit...lol. talk to you later.
Love Always and Forever
Jerry Barnes Jr.